Chinese built plane, Lao Airlines
On a recent uneventful long flight I decided to pass time by counting the number of flights I’ve taken in my lifetime (sad, I know). I lost count somewhere over 300 and it would be reasonable to put the number somewhere around the 350 mark (I counted number of take-offs but I could have chosen number of landings; so far for me they’re pretty much equal). Considering my tally was only 6 when I had reached the age of 24 it suggests a large proportion of recent years spent in grubby airports and sitting squashed on aircraft of various shapes and sizes.
Yet even to this day, I can’t profess to being someone who enjoys flying. I put up with it and accept it as the most practical way of getting from A to B in most cases. Yet when there is an alternative such as a decent train service I’ll probably take it.
In the early years I was a terrible flyer. I would tense up at every bump, every noise from the cockpit and every member of the crew who came rushing past me on the way to the cockpit. I have previously written about my worst moment on an internal Chinese flight with China North West in 1995 when I was convinced I was about to die. It wasn’t my only terror-filled flying hour but certainly my most acute episode of fear on a plane.
I could have easily thrown in the towel and decided to restrict our travels to European rail journeys. Yet in the years following that self-inflicted Chinese torture I flew at a greater frequency than ever before. So what happened?
My self-administered therapy method might seem unorthodox to some. You see, at the same time as harbouring a fear of being stuck in a plane I had a fascination with them. I remember sitting on the rooftop viewing area at Heathrow with my father when I was little and knowing the aircraft types and carriers as they took off and landed (thank you Top Trumps). I have also long had a morbid interest in air crashes. I can tell you about the safety history of most airlines and can recount with reasonable accuracy the major accidents of the last 20 years.
So my biggest step in overcoming my phobia was to sit and watch every documentary that I could find about air crashes. Investigations, reconstructions, movies, survivor accounts; I found them all fascinating, and would make a point to watch them whenever I could. And slowly, I noticed that when I was on a plane and heard a strange noise I gained confidence in knowing what it was (and what it wasn’t). I was able to internalise just how unlikely it was that the flight that I was on was going to crash, and started to relax a little more.
I still can’t profess to feeling completely at ease on a plane. My palms get clammy when we hit turbulence and I’m always a little anxious as we hurtle down the runway waiting to get airborne. But I have learned to control my anxiety, and when I consider the places that I’ve managed to visit that only a plane could realistically get me to, I’m grateful to the makers of those air crash TV shows for the unwilling part they played in calming my fears.
I’m the same way. I’ve been on over a hundred flights and still terrified every time. What helps me now is I have to be brave for my 3 year old daughter who says she’s scared. So on take off now we throw our hands in the air and shout out with glee, just like we would on a roller coaster. I’ve found that it has actually helped me to see the flight as being something quite fun. I had to tell Kalyra what the rules were after she then shouted out, just after take off “Okay now we are going down.” Last week we flew from North Carolina to Sydney via 4 flights and I found it pretty smooth going. I didn’t stress anywhere near the amount I usually do.
So glad to discover others who feel the same way I do. I don’t exactly hate flying but I don’t love it either. I get the whole concept of aerodynamics but I can’t help thinking about all the possible mechanical failures that *could* occur en route. But with my obsession with travel and a limited number of vacation days at my disposal, flying is the fastest and most efficient way to get from point A to point B.
Dear Andy, you beat my husband (also an Andy) to writing this post – He had been begging to write a guest post for me on his fear of flying and mind you, we do it often – we are going for exec platinum again this year on American….And it’s wonderful to see you overcome it, even if not entirely – at least you are not letting it stop you. Our friend Dom DRIVES from Florida to Chicago, ok? Talk about crazy! And he’ll never ever see Europe unless he takes weeks off to get there by some ship! I LOVE flying – I wish that Leonardo da Vinci could live to see the day when his dream had come true and we take it so for granted this miracle of flying!!! Great post!
Thank you Farnoosh, Marsha and Caz. I find that when I talk to people and admit my flying nerves it’s surprising how many others share the same feelings. Great to read that we’ve all learned to accept this unease and not allow it to stop us from travelling. Driving from Florida to Chicago! That’s one hell of a long drive….
Andy, my hubby said that’s nothing – Apparently Dom DROVE (maniac that he is) from Florida to New Mexico once!!! Talk about patient…..
! Thanks for a fabulous site here and a great NAME !!! (501places!)
I’ll let you know when (my) Andy writes his guest post on fear of flying…..Hope you visit
Thank you Farnoosh
Can’t remember where the name came from now! Look forward to reading Andy’s post.
Great Andy. I admire your method!
Congrats on your over 300 flight!
You remind my first oveseas flight to NZ. It was 12 hours long, no stopover. It was my very first overseas travel, with my 20 kg of backpack.
it was 2004, many years after 9.11. But you know, since it’s my first long flight and all, somehow all of these remind me of 9.11.
12 hours of flight and it was red-eye. Sleep on the plane was necessary and I’m one heavy sleeper. After dinner, I admire the view of stars for a while, wrote a journal and fell alseep. Can you guess what my drea was? Plane cresh into the Pacific Ocean, and cut in half.
Every time. like 5 times over and over and over….
I was so scared, terrified but nothing I could do. So now think about that, somehow I got over it. Because there’s nothing I could do. haha funny.
Great story, Andy!
Juno, don’t start me on plane crash dreams! I have so many of them. I can’t believe I didn’t mention this in my post – ok, I’ll save it for another post. But yes, I can understand why you were scared after this dream! I bet you didn’t want to go back to sleep after a while
Hi
If you’re scared of flying have a look at out website at flyingwithoutfear.com We’ve got hundreds of pages of free help including podcasts and videos.
We also have a social network for fearful flyers (LOGBOOK24/7) that has over 1000 members where you can get help, support and encouragement from people who feel like you do about flying.
Captain Keith