Where there's a will there's always a way: leaving Manali, India
“You’re so lucky, I wish I could travel like you”. Sound familiar? I read many accounts of people who have heard the same sentiment expressed by friends and co-workers. Do we consider ourselves lucky? Have we been blessed with good fortune to travel as we do? Or is it a conscious decision that has everything to do with choosing a path and sticking to it, and nothing to do with fate?
On one level it is no doubt intended as a compliment. In emphasising a desire to follow the same actions as another person we validate their chosen behaviour and show our personal approval of their actions. So far so good.
Next come the reasons why we are so lucky to be able to travel. These usually boil down to two things: no kids and good jobs. And here’s where I have a problem. Sure, these two factors have made the ability to set off on a whim a lot easier. But there are those who travel with children and do so for far longer than we ever have.
And as for the job, I have had different careers over the years but have been freelance for the majority of my working life, while Sam was only on a payroll for a few months during the last 18 years before deciding it wasn’t for her. It’s a choice we’ve both made and while it doesn’t provide financial security it gives us flexibility to be able to travel. A trade-off that works for us, but might not for others. When we have good years we can travel for longer and in more comfort. In lean years we may travel with more of an eye on the budget, but we will still travel.
So has fortune really put us in a position where we are able to travel as we do ? We are both healthy, and for that I count our blessings. Illness would be the biggest obstacle to our being able to travel. Not having children has made spontaneous travel planning so much easier. As for money? In my most prolific travel years I was truly skint, hitching rides around Europe and finding creative ways of sleeping without paying for accommodation. And there are, after all, many incredible places to visit close to home wherever we live that won’t cost the earth to reach.
So if I am truly lucky in anything apart from my health, it is in having the curiosity and desire to see the world. With those characteristics in place the rest is nothing more than detail that will get sorted out, one way or another.
Yes, I’ve heard the same statement many times. Just like you said, they just see one way of it & not the other. Everyone got the same possibilities to travel the world, if he is healthy. They just have to take the same consequences and that’s the point where people decide not to do it. That’s fine, of course, but the statement doesn’t really count for… in general.
I don’t like to consider myself lucky for nearly always having a carry-on by my side. If I did, it would mean that some people wouldn’t be “lucky” enough to live the way I do. I believe that we all have a chance to create the life we want and go for it…mine just happens to include a lot of planes and trains. mytrot.blogspot.com
Some people buy a new car every year; others find important to have their homes renovated periodically; I TRAVEL!
I don´t know about you guys but, in Brazil, people who travel are considered to be very wealthy, as everyone thinks travelling is absolutely superfluous. It´s like “if you haven´t got anywhere else to spend your money, you travel abroad.”
You should imagine how many times I heard I was lucky. I even tried to demonstate how easy it is to travel on a low budget. And some people are finally following me.
Best,
Fernanda
Travel, like everything else in life, is largely influenced by ambition. I don’t believe in luck but I do believe that with the right attitude and dedication, we can accomplish whatever we put our minds to. I’m 24 and I’ve traveled to every continent except Australia. People always ask the following questions:
Aren’t you scared to go there?: No, people live there….Ok maybe that’s not exactly true for Antarctica, but lots of people travel there!
How do you afford to spend months abroad?: I work 2-3 jobs when I am in the US, strive to be a minimalist and save save save! Once abroad I volunteer where needed and am usually offered a room in exchange for my time/energy, I don’t do expensive tourist excursions and I cook lots instead of eating out. For the record, I don’t have a trust fund and my parents support my travel by buying me a new pair of sunglasses every so often.
Once/twice per year I speak to high school students about travel and go after their own dreams, whatever they may be. It’s really fun and keeps me grounded, keeps me living by my own words.
The health thing is one I’ve worked around a lot. I returned to New York City from Ghana, Indonesia and Argentina in a wheelchair. First a drunk person fell on me and hurt both of my legs, then I was in a motorcycle accident, and most recently I fell off a roof in Mendoza. Since the roof accident in March ’09 I’ve had five operations (one to fix a broken face and nose, and four to reconstruct my wrist). I managed to travel to Costa Rica between operations in June and am headed to Italy for two weeks this coming March. Once I have full use of my hand back, I plan to spend my last semester of grad school in the Philippines in 2011.
I suppose what I’m trying to say is that with enough drive, anyone can work around any obstacle.
Sorry for such a long comment. Your post was wonderfully thought-provoking.
Jackie Rose
LOVE this post! I couldn’t agree with you more and I briefly talked about this in one of my last posts. I actually get really offended when I hear people say this, because I don’t think they’re saying it to mean that they would love to explore the world as well, I think they’re saying it to mean wouldn’t it be nice to not have responsibilities. Plus, I think a lot of people view traveling as a vacation, when real travel is about experiences and adventures that change your life.
Thanks to all for the thoughtful comments. Wow, that’s some story Jackie. You have overcome some major health issues and kept travelling – full respect to you. I hope your next few years run smoother for you.
Andi, agree re: lack of responsibilities. I reckon you’re right most of the time on this, don’t bother getting offended, it’s not worth it. Keep smiling and keep doing what you love to do.
I used to travel a lot when I was single, and the frequency dipped dismally when I had children. If there are frequent travelers out there who have children and still manage, can you please give me tips? I’m just 26 years old and I’d really hate to think about giving up my biggest dream just because i couldn’t afford to go or my kids need me. They’re 3 years old and 6 months old btw. I’m not saying i want to travel NOW. Maybe a year from now would be reasonable. But anyway. how do you guys work it out?
Thank you!
It’s only luck if you can create luck by making tough decisions. For every person that says this, there’s a different underlying meaning. Many times there’s a “boy, wouldn’t it be nice to be so irresponsible” vibe in the subtext, and I’ll usually kill the conversation at that point. There are many sacrifices that need to be made to facilitate this lifestyle, they’re just not as readily obvious.
Wonderful Post Andy…truly thought provoking and I agree with Fernanda.Its the same here in India,travelling abroad = Richie Rich.Low budget travelling is catching up though.
Thanks again for great comments. Yes, the perception that traveller= rich is widespread, and explains so much about the ‘tourist tax’ on things we buy on our travels.
Mommaterialgirl, have a look at the likes of soultravelers3 and others, who are travelling with a family and writing about their experiences in educating on the road. There are a few blogs from people who have made this move- I’m sure it’s not easy, but it’s possible!
Eerily familiar! Can’t tell you how many times we’ve had exactly this conversation with people since we left New York City on our ongoing Trans-Americas Journey in 2006. We are, more often than not, left with the sense that we haven’t helped anyone see the light–that if you choose to travel long term (and accept the unavoidable trade-offs and concessions) then you really can travel long term. Looks like we’ll just have to keep proving the rule by setting the example!
Andy, you nailed it right on the head. In every which way.
What some of my friends don’t seem to understand is that I’ve had to bust my ass and make a lot of sacrifices to get to do what I’m doing now. I still do consider myself lucky tho. Lucky that I’ve had to opportunity to set myself up like this. Lucky that I don’t have many problems getting a visa to go here or there. Lucky that while things are not well at home, I can actually go elsewhere and spend less money while having the time of my life.
Thanks Ruben.
Hope the travels are as good as ever. You’ve got some great pics on Facebook. We’re enjoying following your progress.
I have a friend who just got a job as an American diplomat. He and his wife and his kids of 11, 8, and 6 will soon be working all over the world in various countries.
I am following @familyonbiles They are riding bikes from the tip of Alaska to the southern tip of Chili. Travel is a choice and anyone who wants to can, but they need to make an effort to do it. Having children makes it more difficult to travel, but I would think it would also make it more rewarding to see them take in the experience and learn from different cultures and places.
Thanks Andy and Ted,
I am sure I will find a way somehow. I found a way to fund my travels abroad when I was a struggling entry-level employee from a third world country (The Philippines) even when the exchange rate often left me hyperventilating.
The cost of a McDonald value meal in the US would amount to–I am not kidding–about 3 days worth of meals in the country for the average Filipino.
Still, I live, breathe, and long for travel. And the sole pursuit of my life is to do it. So Imma do it 🙂
Wow, I LOVED this piece. Very thought-provoking, and my sentiments exactly. When my husband and I threw in the towel in 2006 on trying to buy a house, amass all these material things we “thought” we needed/wanted, and put the babies on hold, our lives opened up. What resulted were 14 life-changing months around the world. We’re now gearing up to do it again, hopefully next year, because this kind of travel changes you, and it’s addicting.
Most people told us we were lucky; we responded by saying you make choices. Most of our friends have two mortgages, two cars, two kids, and tons of stuff. We have memories. I don’t judge either, but I do agree with the folks above who said it’s about choices. It is. Yes, we’re lucky to be healthy people with good heads on our shoulders who can get creative about finding work. But we have also compromised a lot, cut back on things, adopted a minimalist approach, and have sacrificed at times.
At one point in ’06 my husband and I considered divorcing (this after only a year+ of marriage), because I felt the urge/need to travel, and he was dead-set on having a house and family. Luckily he came around to the travel idea and saw the freedom and beauty in it, and that without pressure from me; it just evolved. So anything is possible.
I teach free travel seminars at REI where I share the above and try to inspire people to go after those travel dreams and make them a reality. There’s so much more out there in the world beyond our own borders. Is it scary as hell to take that plunge? Yes. Will it be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done? Yes.
Sometimes it’s also a veiled criticism. More often than not it was expressed to me like this:
“I wish I could travel like you. It must be nice to not have responsibilities.”
Ouch. (I’m originally from New York, where we don’t mince words.)
I have thus far refrained from lecturing them about how their responsibilities – house, job, kids, debt, dog, whatever – are a result of their choice. And how my “lack” of responsibilities a direct result of my intention to not have anything holding me back.
Thanks for all the great comments. Great story Molly and good for you to be giving seminars on following travel dreams; a worthy topic if ever there was one. I can imagine how much pleasure you get out of that one too.
So true Lauren, and best not to lecture – sit quietly, hear them out and keep enjoying what you know is the right decision for you.
Thanks for mentioning @familyonbikes too Ted. I follow their progress too, and they are living proof that you really can make your own choices, whatever the circumstances. Like you say, travelling with children creates a whole new experience, and no doubt a richer one in many ways.
I think it’s a bit of all. For me, I am definitely not the type who will travel full time. At least I don’t foresee it in the near future. But who knows?
It’s an individual choice how each person lives their life. So, I guess all you need to do is remind those who say this to make a choice to travel more, if that’s what they want.
Good article and great comments.
You choose to live the way you want. Plain and simple.
However those who make a desire a reality are actually few and far between. Similar to staying on a diet, quitting smoking – desire to reality is hard – it’s about self control. We are in the minority.
I do agree that it is certainly easier without kids (or a spouse for that matter!) and health is of the most importance. I would also like to add that I’m also fortunate enough right now that my parents are in good health and are living on their own. I feel like I need to have these nomadic life experiences now since one day I may be tied down taking care of them for a while.
Great article. Anyone who puts travel near the very top of their priority list, particularly in the US, is going to hear this. Unfortunately our society just doesn’t deem travel important, which is why the percentage of people who actually own a passport is so staggeringly low and why we only get 1-2 weeks of vacation a year. I’ve heard the same things as the rest of you, “Oh, you’re so lucky. Oh, I wish I could do what you do. Oh, I wish I didn’t have anything holding me back. Oh, I wish I was as carefree as you.” With some people, it’s definitely said with a voice of resentment, which frankly pisses me off.
We worked extremely hard to be able to quit our jobs and travel for a year. Sure, we had some things fall into place for us to make it a bit easier, but we still planned for two years, not buying anything new for ourselves–no clothes, no books, no DVD’s, no music, no nice things for our house, virtually nothing but the essentials. All the while the majority of these people are driving $30k cars, live in $200k houses, have 52″ flat screen, high def televisions, nice furniture, nice clothes, and just generally a lot of nice stuff. Which is great. If that’s your priority, awesome. But we are both driving old cars, don’t own a house, still have college furniture (mind you we’ve both been out of college for nearly a decade) and a small tv, and all but stopped going out for beers and dinner out. But that’s what we needed to do to make our dream come true. It’s like some people just thing that someone gave us a bag full of money and said, “Hey, why don’t you quit your jobs and use this to travel for a year.”
Many people do mean well when saying this, and I don’t know that I can blame the ones who are resentful. More than anything I blame our society for practically brainwashing everyone to think that they have to live a certain way. That the only way to do it is go to school, graduate, get a good job, get married, buy a house, have kids, move to the burbs, go to Florida for a week a year, then retire. Again, if that’s what you want, that’s fine by me, but don’t begrudge me because that’s not what I want.
Sorry for the rant, but I’ve been coming across this more and more since we’ve been back from the trip and we keep talking about what we need to do to take off again. Since we’ve already traveled for such a long time, it’s like people think we should be done and don’t “deserve” it anymore.
As I said above, great article!
One thing that popped into my mind while reading the comments was that we, travelers, can’t feed into people’s ignorance or resentment. If we walk away from conversations about travel, or only offer a line or two about choices, we won’t change anything. I’ve found that asking questions is a good way to open up a conversation and take the focus off my trip. Have you ever wanted to travel? If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Why don’t you think you can? This also seems to get people to view their own situation and maybe even look at how they spend their money/time, instead of just being critical about how you spend yours.
To Adam, your last few sentences really grabbed me. Scroll up and see my previous comment before reading on…….Since this last accident, everyone keeps asking me if I’m done with “this travel thing”. When I talk about future trips, they roll their eyes. It’s as if there’s some karmic relationship between my desire to break the cookie-cutter mold and take a few months off to see the world, and the fact that I’ve had a few bad accidents while abroad. “Someone up above is telling you to stay home.” “Next time you come home it’ll be in a body bag.” People make me feel like I don’t deserve to travel after wearing their nerves thin so many times…
Ah! I try to follow my own advice and not run away from these conversations. I know that most of the time people are scared for my health and I recognize that it is a bit insensitive of me to start talking about future trips while my friends and family are still helping me get through operations and physical therapy. Anyway, thanks for your comment!
Safe journeys.
I agree with your bottom line. Anyone who has a passion and the conviction to pursue it (whether it’s travel or something else) is fortunate, even with the sacrifices and trade offs that may be necessary.
What a great subject Andy! I didn’t travel as much as I wished but it is still more Han anyone around me. When they heard I have this and that travel plans, they immidiately goes “wow I am so envy of you”. Hen I think, “why?” They are just not creative enough. Just saw other’s plans ans want to make that as theirs. Funny thing is people who say like that makes more money Han me, not married, and no obligations.
Sometimes feel sorry for them. I think they are envy me because they don’t know what they want. I am doing what I do cause I know what I want, and we all do, right?
Great point, Andy.
Thanks Juno, Laurie, Jackie and Adam for the recent comments (and the many others who’ve previously shared their thoughts on this topic.
One of the messages that comes through with the many opinions expressed is the point that we have made a choice to travel, and most of us have made our own sacrifices to achieve this. It’s not a better or worse decision than that made by those who choose not to travel. Neither side should envy or pity the other. Let and let live should apply to all sides… thanks again for a great debate.
People at my work ask how my husband and I travel all the time. We don’t get paid very much and yet somehow find ourselves the only ones able to leave the country. I work in the video game industry and I can say that most of the people I work with have no excuses. That, and they definitely do not like when I tell them to stop buying 70″ TVs, all the latest video games and general techie items they don’t need… oh and god forbid you tell them they need to cook for themselves. :X
Where there is a will, there is a way. We scrimp and save to go to the places in our dreams.
It would be nice if I could travel, but given my responsibilities, I choose not to. One problem that I have had is the ability to find time outside of work to travel. I did find an idea that I wish existed. It would make working on the road much easier, and maybe I could travel while still keeping up my work more effectively. Check it out at http://bit.ly/abkPDz
I also agree with Erica (posted June 6, 2010). When I travel, its because I save up and do it. There’s other reasons than money that I choose not to travel like my responsibilities.
I’m only 30 and started some traveling a few years ago and still have not been to many places and people say that to me. This will especially be the case because I am a woman. Women ALREADY have so many life regrets by 30 that men don’t have. It seems sad. I feel like as long as you aren’t dead, there’s a chance to change something. Women follow roads they don’t want to out of familial force or societal expectations. They tell me I am “lucky” but all I did was make life choices. Regardless of lack of wealth (I wasn’t born rich, am not rich now and probably won’t die rich) I made choices that matched what I want and not all were easy. But most have been fulfilling and that includes the desire to experience the culture of others, whether close to home or thousands of miles away.
Great article. Thanks for sharing.
Good points Trudy. Women do have more expectations placed on them by society, and a 20 or 30 something women who chooses to do her own thing (such as travel) will raise more eyebrows in many communities than her male counterpart. All the more credit to those like you who choose follow their own choices in the face of this pressure. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
Good article, but with some of the comments I slightly disagree. I don’t think people who say this are saying you are lazy or don’t deserve to travel so much. A lot of people just wish they could do what you do, is that so bad? Yeah maybe they could figure out ways of doing it, but sometimes the biggest thing holding them back is just fear. And that’s not your problem I know, but not everyone is as fearless as you guys. I guess I would take that statement as a compliment 🙂
Those people who have partners who want to share their passion of travelling are really lucky ones. Same with people who have such jobs which give them more freedom and independency..