Could have, should have, would have: Trips that we book and never take

They say half of the fun of a trip is in the planning. Well that may be true when reminiscing over a completed trip, but when a trip has been meticulously planned, saved up for and booked, it can be a painful reminder of something that was lost through reasons that might later prove to be frivolous.

A recent post on Nora Dunn’s Professional Hobo blog started a lively debate about the American vacation habits. Discussion focussed on the miserly 10 days that most Americans receive as their annual allowance and how even this can get stolen from them by late notice demands of their employers, seemingly willing to treat their workers’ vacation as a luxury perk that can be called in on a whim. This had me thinking about the trips we had booked and that we later postponed. Four trips spring to mind immediately, and a lesson emerges for me that I hope will lead to me reassessing priorities in the future.

Trip 1. Central America. In 1997 we had booked a flight into Guatemala and another out of Panama four weeks later. We planned to travel overland between the two, stopping in at six of the central American nations along the way. I was greatly excited by this trip, while many friends and family were anxious that we would never return. Plans were shelved however when we received the chance to relocate from south Wales to Newcastle with my then employer. It was a move we had been planning to make at some point, and the chance to do this with work fixed up at the other end seemed too good to pass up.

The trip was postponed and the deposit on the flights forfeited. The next year Hurricane Mitch devastated the area, and more than 10 years on we are yet to set foot in this intriguing region. As for the move, well we stayed six years in the north east of England and loved our time up there. It is without doubt for me the best part of England to live. But if I had my time again would I make the same choice? Absolutely not. The trip would have been made and we would have made our own way up to the north east later.

Trip 2. Madagascar. While this island has held a fascination for me since childhood, the prospect of seeing a solar eclipse from there in 2001 was enough to have us booking a tour to visit there. We would travel around the island by jeep for three weeks, and the eclipse would be witnessed high on a hill overlooking the Indian Ocean. Around two months before this adventure I was offered a great job that promised to change my career path entirely. I took the job and with it the restriction of only 20 days holiday (I can hear the Americans laughing from here!). That meant the trip would eat up pretty much the entire annual allowance, and it would also mean an immediate lengthy absence from my new role.

The trip was cancelled, and we have yet to witness a total solar eclipse, or set foot in Madagascar. My eagerness to do both is undimmed, and I am regularly studying the future eclipse maps to see what can coincide with a good trip. Would I do the same again? I would tell my new employer about the trip I had booked at the time of agreeing contracts and a start date, and would stick to my plans with more assertion.

Trip 3 and Trip 4. India and Istanbul. These two trips, in 2001 and 2002 respectively, were both postponed due to security concerns in the country at the time. India was busy squaring up to potential war with Pakistan and much of the country was on high alert, while our trip to Istanbul coincided with a high profile trial that was likely to start mass protest and potential violence. We took the safe option and waited.

In both cases we have since made these trips, and so the delay does not sit uncomfortably with me. I do think that over time we have become more comfortable with the risks that some destinations face. Let’s face it, almost everywhere (including London) is at risk from indiscriminate attacks, so as long as a place is not engaged in open warfare close to the area that we are visiting and there is no official advice to avoid that area, we will go.

Work opportunities can come at any time, and it is very tempting when an opportunity arises to put off travel plans. After all, destinations will still be there when we get a chance to visit later. But it doesn’t always work like that, and other factors can mean that those places we were just about to visit end up on our to-do list for a lot longer than we had bargained. And as for those work opportunities? How often do those look a lot less amazing and important with the benefit of hindsight.

What’s my message? Well it might seem irresponsible to some, but it is this. If you have your heart set on seeing somewhere, think hard before letting possible obstacles put a block on your plans. They might clear away in time, yes. Or they might linger and even grow, making that trip even harder to take in the future. Travel is not just a frivolous luxury. It can hold the key to life-defining memories and insights – so what are you waiting for?

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16 Responses to “Could have, should have, would have: Trips that we book and never take”

  1. JoAnna #

    Thanks for sharing … and powerful message: "Travel is not just a frivolous luxury. It can hold the key to life-defining memories and insights."

    For me, it's the trips I never booked but should have.

    October 15, 2009 at 4:40 pm
  2. Andy Jarosz #

    Thanks JoAnna. It can be a big step to take the plunge and book, but I think it's one we rarely regret.
    Best wishes
    Andy

    October 15, 2009 at 9:40 pm
  3. Isabelle #

    What a great article Andy. Loved reading it and I agree with you. It's often enough we find a reason to postpone or delay a trip and regret it in the end. Thanks for sharing this inspiring post!

    October 16, 2009 at 11:12 am
  4. Andy Jarosz #

    Thanks Isabelle. It's one thing for me to write this now, and another to make sure I remember it next time I'm in this position. But if I am, I'll come back to this post and make sure I go through with the travel plan. Glad you enjoyed it. Your site is great by the way!

    October 16, 2009 at 11:35 am
  5. Saundra #

    This is oh so true…I decided years ago that I wouldn't wait until retirement to at least *start* seeing the world. Thanks for a great post.

    October 18, 2009 at 2:42 pm
  6. Smita #

    Have to agree with Isabelle, inspiring post Andy .

    October 20, 2009 at 8:48 am
  7. It is the Mark Twain quote with real life examples. You’ll have more regrets about the things you don’t do.

    I would have definitely told them I had plans and to expect my start date to be delayed or I would have to have time off soon after I started. The eclipse is a once in many years event. You hope they are understanding, but if you don’t ask you don’t get.

    November 23, 2009 at 11:32 pm
  8. Very true Brian. I am determined to see that eclipse soon though! I have the next decade’s eclipses planned out and will plan a trip around one. Thanks for stopping by.

    November 24, 2009 at 10:54 am
  9. Such wise words. I’ve tried to travel whenever I possibly could, but I still find myself sometimes being hampered by money/safety concerns. However, I know those are just beliefs and not reality. I regret once not going to Russia. I booked a ticket since I was living in Austria at the time, but I ran out of time to get a visa. I could have paid an intermediary source to expedite the visa, but didn’t. I still want to one day make it there.

    February 4, 2010 at 6:28 pm
  10. Monay #

    Just wanted to tell that this is an inspiring article.

    “Travel is not just a frivolous luxury. It can hold the key to life-defining memories and insights” –> Amen to that!

    February 4, 2010 at 6:50 pm
  11. Thanks Monay. Glad you liked it.
    And Nancy, do make it to Russia if you can. It’s an amazing country, especially if you go east of Moscow.

    February 5, 2010 at 1:26 pm
  12. Hi Andy, love the post, the one line that stuck out to me the most: Travel is not just a frivolous luxury. It can hold the key to life-defining memories and insights – so what are you waiting for?

    That’s the one thing I’ve learned having taken my trip to Spain this year. I had so many obstacles facing me: incredible student loan debt, a new apartment with fresh rent to be paid, a failing job, and judgmental family. Spain was my dream trip, I had been planning for over a year before I got to a point where I just said “forget it, I’m doing this!” and sure enough a few weeks after my birthday, I bought my plane tickets. it was go big or go home for me. I ended up traveling solo through Spain for about 2 weeks and it was the best decision I could have made for myself. as a young adult people tell you to live your life and never miss out on any moments, but at the same time post-graduation is one of the most stressful times in our lives. we’re pressured to pursue a successful career, and to hold off on these vacations til we’re older. and I just couldn’t and can’t take it. I had to get out and see the world for myself. Now I’ll never look back. I’m already itching for my next international getaway.

    August 5, 2010 at 8:34 pm
  13. Thanks for sharing your great story Alisha. No surprises that you didn’t regret deciding to take the trip :-) and the experiences you gained by travelling solo in Spain will serve you well when you do launch into your career.

    August 6, 2010 at 5:48 pm
  14. Postponing travel with young kids years ago was not an option for me or my husband. We’d book a trip 6 months out – like a much longed for 10 day bike trip to Portugal – and then worry about babysitting & finances. Once we committed the rest always fell into place – though not without work. I don’t think I’ve ever postponed a trip. I’ve had to scale down a trip to fit the budget and I used to camp a lot more than I do now. But I’ve traveled with a 10 day old!

    October 19, 2010 at 6:09 pm
  15. Great article, Andy – and thanks for the reference to my article!
    It was this constant postponing and the “travel-would-be-great-but-I-can’t-right-now” mindset that eventually led to the ball dropping in my own life (five years ago); I got very sick, and it was only when i was forced to stop doing everything else (ie: work) for a spell that I had a chance to re-evaluate what I was doing.
    The end result? I sold everything (including my business) to travel full-time. Everything worked out better than I could have imagined, and I haven’t looked back since!

    June 3, 2011 at 3:30 pm
  16. Thanks Nora (and thanks for providing the original inspiration!) Glad to hear things have worked out so well for you now. It’s strange how many things we can add to the list of ‘why we shouldn’t do it now’. And once we act we suddenly see them for the trivial obstacles that they are.

    June 5, 2011 at 10:23 am
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