13 universal truths of travel

1. Hotel shower bottles are designed to be enough for exactly 0.8 showers.

2. You will always get the seat behind the compulsive recliner.

3. Your bag will be first off the conveyor belt on the one occasion you have several hours to waste before your connecting flight.

4. The length of the hotel check-in process is directly proportional to how desperately you need the loo.

5. The wifi signal is at its strongest when you sit on the floor in the bathroom with your laptop.

6. If you pack a raincoat you won’t need it. On the one occasion you leave it at home, it will rain on almost every day of your trip.

7. Don’t bother asking how far. Everywhere is about an hour away.

8. You’ll rarely see a local at an authentic local experience.

9. Your mobile phone company will wait until you’re overseas to call and offer you an amazing new deal.

10. The museum you plan to visit is closed on Monday and also closes early on the afternoon you turn up.

11. No two taxi drivers will take the same route between the city centre and your hotel.

12. Souvenirs always look better in a shop display than they do in your living room.

13. You will always have too much foreign currency left over, except for the time when there’s a surprise airport tax to pay on your way home.


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Freelance travel writer

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