Long before John Gray declared that men were from Mars and women from Venus, we all knew that there were fundamental differences between us beyond the mere physical ones. But how do these differences show themselves in the travelling behaviour of the different sexes?
Aware that I only recently wrote a post about the dangers of generalisation, I will nonetheless run the risk of putting both of my size 11 feet into a whole lot of trouble with a light-hearted look at some of the ways in which the two sexes approach the question of travel in vastly different ways.
Selecting a hotel
What matters to a man:
Wi-fi, decent cable TV, wi-fi, electrical sockets to plug in chargers, DVD player, and did I mention wi-fi?
What matters to a woman:
Somewhere to plug in hair-dryer, tea-making facilities, clean bathroom, proximity to shops.
At the airport
A woman will want to be in good time so that she can enjoy the delights of the duty-free shopping on offer.
A man will want to arrive an extra hour early to catch the departure of that Airbus 380 that leaves at 11.30 every morning.
At the airport, a man will disappear immediately once through security to find the best place from which to observe the take-offs and landings on the runway. His partner may rejoin him at the departure gate armed with the latest bags and shoes. As long as she has Toblerone, he doesn’t mind.
On the plane
The woman’s main concern is having her overhead bag close to her to ensure she can apply whatever it is she feels the need to apply during the flight. The man is already planning the quickest way to get off the aircraft on landing. If he is a thoroughbred male he will already be aware of the airports at which aircraft unload from the rear, and will be eyeing up the other men on the plane to see where he will gain an advantage. The woman, who knows what is going on, will shake her head in despair.
On arrival
At the baggage conveyer, the man’s hunter gathering instinct kicks in. He will leave his partner in a safe place, while he engages in the ruthless, often aggresive process of getting his bag off the conveyer belt as soon as it emerges. No-one will get in his way, including those women who have been unlady-like and stood near the baggage carousel. Where is their caveman?
In the rental car
Woman sits in silence wondering about that conversation they had last night. Did he really mean what he said? What did he think when she shed that tear? Is he annoyed with her?
He sits in silence too. He is busy working out the implications of his team’s defeat last night. How will the league table look next week? Who is likely to win the championship? And with that flight we just completed; is it true that he has now flown into every airport containing the letter X in the airport code?
She knows exactly what he is thinking. He doesn’t even realise they had a serious conversation last night.
I must have missed many differences… anyone care to add to the list?
I’m a woman, and I can tell you I care a whole helluva lot more about decent wifi than a place to plug in my hairdryer. Also, believe it or not, my entire existence doesn’t revolve around shopping. Thanks for playing, though!
Thanks Elle, and I also put clean bathroom ahead of wi-fi (just about!)
I’ll go with the clean bathroom when given the option, but can rough it when needed. People still check their bags? =P. Also, I don’t shop in the airport. I go have a drink!
Love the arrival baggage conveyer scene you depict…that’s exactly what my husband does making sure I stand back, and believe you me I have no problem with that having seen him wipe out a whole line of people standing to his right at the conveyer as lifts a suitcase and swings it over onto the floor. I had never thought about it in the “hunter gatherer” instinct. Also, I value the view from our hotel room and he doesn’t mind if we’re looking out at the hotel’s air conditioning system in front of our window.
so true!!! great post!
lol
when on a road trip – man is hesistant to ask for direction, woman always wants to stop to ask!
also, it always happens with me – my boyfriend wants to be the last to go in the plane, to avoid standing up waiting for the line to move, I always want to be in line to get in asap
I’ll be fighting you at that conveyer belt. You’d better watch out, I train karate
Funny post Andy … the dangers of generalization though:))
Excellent additions! Of course, directions! Men just aren’t capable of asking for directions. That’s because we are convinced we are just one more wrong turn away from miraculously arriving at our destination. As an arch-culprit of this one I should be put this first
Thanks Adriana.
As for ladies using karate skills by the luggage conveyor Sophie, it’s yet another hazard we have to ensure. It’s a jungle out there…not for the faint-hearted.
Thanks all for the contributions!
Loved the post, it’s hilarious!
So much to comment…I am a woman and one of the main criteria to choose a hotel (for both myself and my boyfriend) is the wi-fi…Or on special cases, there should at least be some sort of wired internet
But I guess you’ve just given me and idea for a post on my own blog, about what’s important for at least this woman and her friends when traveling
Hmmm…Based on this post, I’m a man disguised as a woman. So much for generalization.
Haha! It’s been interested that all the commentors are women. I suspect that the men who look for clean bathrooms and who love shopping at the airport are just keeping their preferences to themselves… it’s a man thing I guess.